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Joke of the Day
"69% of people... find something dirty in every fucking sentence."
Next Joke
"My boss refused to give me a raise until I whipped him with my belt. It took some feirce negotiating, but he finally buckled."
"Sine, cosine and ln(x) are at a party Sine approaches cosine and says, ""Hey, what's ln(x) doing over in the corner by himself?"". Cosine responds, ""You see, ln(x) doesn't integrate very well""."
"So I was at Legoland the other day and I saw a couple making out I thought it was inappropiate so walked up to them and said ""Come on guys, this is Legoland. Build a room."""
"Did you ever get two pieces of shocking news at once? I just found out my sister was diagnosed with testicular cancer."
"""There is a policeman in here and he will ARREST YOU."" And other inspirational things I say to my kids when we're in public."
"Every Dildo sold in North Korea. Is a Kim Jong IL Do."
"""Your keys are over THERE."" - Wow. You have eagle eyes! ""Yup. My vision is 20/20."" - No. I mean they're small, beady & kinda close together."
"Temperature in the office is set to Dante."
"They say if you choose a job you love, you'll never work a day in your life. I have to work tomorrow."