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Joke of the Day
"I have invented a machine *that reads the subtext in different voice*"
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"How Russians win wars Rushing"
"Have you ever smelled moth balls? How did you get its tiny legs apart?"
"No thanks resolutions, if I wanted to be reminded of everything I didn't follow through on at the end of the year, I'd get married again."
"What do Nicki Minaj and the Philadelphia police department have in common? Reclaiming black bodies."
"Im just an average guy with 2.4 kids."
"We've replaced Steve's regular coffee with a detailed understanding of the impending heat death of the universe. Let's see if he notices."
"Women's underwear Half-assed and still successful"
"Whats the best part of having sex with a transvestite? Reaching around and pretending it went all the way through."
"Top advice for resumes: Be VERY careful with placement of dashes. Ex. - First-hand job experience = good. First hand-job experience = bad."