1093

Joke of the Day

"No thanks resolutions, if I wanted to be reminded of everything I didn't follow through on at the end of the year, I'd get married again."

"I was walking home and saw some drunk guy trying to steal someones gate... I was gonna say something, but I din't want him to take a fence."

"What happened to the ghost who couldn't scare? He had to join a support group since he couldn't handle his boos."

"What did the pirate say when he turned 80? aye matey"

"TIFU by calling a flight attendant a stewardess. Man did he get pissed off."

"Hear of the shortest suicide note ever? Life sucks, girlfriend doesn't."

"I'm getting drunk while depressed. If I have your phone number, now would be a good time to put your phone off."

"Everyone have a Good Friday! ...I'll show myself out"

"Man goes to the doctor because he believes he might have hemorrhoids He did and it was rather uncomfortable"

"Why was it so hot in the stadium after the game? Because all the fans left"