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Joke of the Day

"The only way to make a cat like you is to cancel plans with them and ignore their text messages."

"What's the difference between Lamar Odom and a hooker? A hooker can wash her crack and reuse it."

"If Kim Kardashian is allowed to sue Old Navy b/c a model looks like her, then Khloe Kardashian should expect a lawsuit from Chewbacca."

"Nose hairs must be the longest hairs on the human body. When you pull them your arsehole twitches."

"What did Caesar say when playing battleship? A2 Brute."

"How many tickles does it take to tickle an octopus? Ten- tickles FTW!"

"Please take selfies. There are enough pictures of sunsets and airplane wings. Your face is more interesting."

"I'm not racist because... I'd rather be black, than asian."

"I'm really claustrophobic and just walked into a room crammed full with married people... Luckily there wasn't a single person in it"

"I have a joke for you that has no punchline."