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Joke of the Day

"birds can make their homes in tall treetops and soar at great heights and pigeons are like no thank you i will commute by foot to home depot"

"I have a serious salad problem... ...it needs a dressing."

"What's the difference between 8:45 am and 10:45 am? Around 3000 people"

"Why do scuba divers fall off the boat backwards? Because is they fell forward they'd land in the boat."

"Do black people get sunburns? I don't know... Most prisons are indoors."

"What do you call a man with a rabbit up his jumper ? Warren !"

"Roses are red, Twitter is blue, you look bangable, so I'll follow you"

"They say when you find a sea shell, pick it up, and put it to your ear, you can hear the ocean. Do you know why that is? Cause you're on the fuckin beach."

"Accidents happen everyday... You were one of them."

"Talk is cheap until you hire a lawyer."