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Joke of the Day

"Roses are red, Twitter is blue, you look bangable, so I'll follow you"

"How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? They don't. They just arrest the entire room for being dark."

"I might not be a gynecologist But I know a cunt when I see one"

"The only way I want to see your ultrasound picture is if you're having a velociraptor."

"Apparently we can't call it crowbars anymore. Its actually jackdawbars"

"What's the difference between an old bus stop and a crab with breast implants? One is a Crusty Bus Station and the other is a Busty Crustacean"

"Where did this concept of kidnappers using white vans come from? I mean, I just use my Prius, stop being so stereotypical, jeez."

"Facebook is the biggest whistle-blower of them all, telling people I saw their messages."

"What do you call gay couple? TOGAYTHER"

"It's been discovered that protons have mass. Which is odd because I didn't even know they are Catholic."