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Joke of the Day

"A male honeybee's only job is to stay in the hive and impregnate the queen... American response: ""Those lucky bastards!"" British response: ""Those poor bastards..."""

"Why do the police hate teenage fireflies? They never stop lighting up."

"What do you call a fat Irish family? The o'Beses."

"A short facts list 1) 50% of facts are made up 2) I made up the first fact"

"Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and smell bad."

"If you make a cow angry how will she get even? She'll cream you!"

"Throwing away a good relationship because of problems that can be worked out, is like throwing away a new car because of a flat tire."

"what did the grape say when it got stepped on? nothing, it just let out a little whine"

"you can basically just make up facts as long as they're about animals.. cows can't look left. you don't know"

"Instead of yelling, I just say ""Caps Lock"" and then speak at a normal volume."