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Joke of the Day
"What type of sense of humor does rain have? -A very wet sense of humor"
Next Joke
"My autopsy is going to be surprising as hell because I am 100% filled with mashed potatoes"
"Me: Damn girl your new selfie is awesome but isn't it a bit late to zombiefy yourself? Her: What's zombiefy? Me: ...Your hair looks great!"
"Several of Hitlers Generals disappeared after the war, and became animal doctors. Because they were Veteran Aryans."
"How do real partners in crime jokingly introduce themselves to people?"
"When I see a car accident I pull over quickly to assist the drivers with getting rid of any drugs they may have in the car."
"Just hired a cat sitter to sit on my cat."
"[catching breath at friends house] I was being chased by a bike cop so I threw up a left turn signal but actually turned right and it worked"
"Honey Boo Boo changes name to Sugar Scab."
"Chicks love guys with tattoos cuz it means they're willing to commit to something stupid for the rest of their lives..."