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Joke of the Day

"The bright side of getting attacked by a Cyclops is only having to use half the pepper spray."

"Muhammad Ali was apparently bad in bed, says his widow. Then again, he was a fighter, not a lover."

"For an Asian porn star, everyday is election day."

"A girl's ass is like an onion... ...It'll give you really bad breath if you eat it raw!"

"An Englisman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The barman says ""What is this, some kind of a joke?"

"I heard you are what you eat Must explain why your such a huge dick"

"How is being a middle manager like being stuck in a tree full of monkeys? Whenever you look down, all you see is grinning faces. Whenever you look up, all you see is assholes."

"Your voicemail will be ignored in the order in which it was received. Beep."

"What did one amputee say to the other? I'm as stumped as you are!"

"Imagine me naked. Wrong. Fatter."