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Joke of the Day

"Your voicemail will be ignored in the order in which it was received. Beep."

"How much cum does a gay guy have? A butt load."

"I like my women like I like my cheese Pungent and gooey."

"What's the difference between a gun and a wife? You can silence a gun."

"Gather round children, and let me tell ye the story of the black forest ham"

"(real news) Chinese archaeologists have discovered the country's oldest mathematics document, written on bamboo more than 2,200 years ago! Even more amazing - one of the answers is wrong."

"Genie: ""You have 3 wishes."" Ian: ""I wish for everyone to be equal."" Genie: ""Okay. You have no wishes."""

"*Rolls window down* Cop: do you know why I pulled you over? Me: is it because I'm literally running down the street pretending to be a car?"

"Three friends were casually talking. -I bumped into my Russian friend yesterday -Vladislav? -Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more!"

"DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE A COP Ok, now that there are definitely no cops reading this...I'm trying to find some cocaine for this weekend guys"