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Joke of the Day

"Why does Donald Trump secretly not want to win the election? Because if he wins, he'll have to move into a smaller house in a black neighborhood."

"Why did the console peasant cross the road? To render the buildings on the other side. No offense."

"Willie: ""I have an awful toothache."" Tommie: ""I'd have it taken out if it was mine."" Willie: ""Yes if it was yours I would too."""

"There was an awful fight at the seafood restaurant. Four fish got battered!"

"I'm going to go out on a limb here and fall off obviously."

"What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? A Quarter-Pounder with Cheese."

"A guide to procrastination... I'll tell you later..."

"My ex was gang raped by a troupe of mime artists. They performed unspeakable acts on her."

"My wife bought a new plant for for the house. I didn't like it at first... ...but it's starting to grow on me."

"I'm sorry I picked up dog poop using your selfie stick."