143934

Joke of the Day

"Why does Donald Trump secretly not want to win the election? Because if he wins, he'll have to move into a smaller house in a black neighborhood."

"Aliens are taking people with . . . . . . .Big Dicks! Dont worry you are safe! Im just telling my favourite alternative news site that i wont be around for a while!"

"Sorry I borrowed your pen and performed that emergency tracheotomy that turned out not to be an emergency. And sorry about your neck hole."

"Old man at the gym just told.me this one. Women asks me:""do you smoke after intercourse?"" I don't know, I haven't looked"

"I have a new party trick. I swallow two bits of string and an hour later they come out my arse tied together... I shit you knot!"

"I like to make things awkward on first dates just by shouting ""wrong hole!!"" at inappropriate times, like when you're eating."

"What do you call a Nun in a wheelchair Virgin Mobile Stolen from r/christianity"

"You can't bait me. I'm the masturbator."

"How do you recognize a feminist from a bunch of naked women? She's the one with the penis.....envy."

"Arrgh! These be some pirate jokes. Did you hear about the new pirate movie? It's rated Arrrrrgggghhhh What is a pirates favorite letter? Most think it's Arrrrgh but, it is really the Sea(c)."