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Joke of the Day

"My fav sci-fi this year is the Bank of America ad where the 30 year old dude with a new baby has $56k in his checking account."

"Ovulation jokes aren't funny. Period."

"Monster: Where do fleas go in winter? Werewolf: Search me!"

"I don't understand banks. Why do they attach chains to their pens? If I am trusting you with my money, you should trust me with your pens."

"Woman goes to the doctor... Woman goes to the doctor and says, ""Everytime I sneeze I have an orgasam."" The doctor asks, ""What have you been doing for it?"" She replies, ""Snorting pepper."""

"I can count on one hand the number of times I've blown four of my fingers off with illegal fireworks."

"My wife made pancakes but they were totally lumpy and it's like, do you even sift bro?"

"Liar is such a harsh term, I prefer Politician"

"I think I'll go to church this morning. I need to repent all my sins & pray for the neighbors wife to covet me."

"What did 0 say to 8? Why's your belt so tight bruh?"