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Joke of the Day

"You scream, I scream, we all scream, then I leave the women's restroom."

"John Fogerty's ""Centerfield"" makes no sense. I'm pretty sure he'd fly first-class."

"HR said it's not necessary but I like my sickness to be taken seriously by having my mom send in an email validating my degree of sickness"

"If you had to choose between having a love life, or a lifetime supply of pudding: How much chocolate pudding would you eat that first day?"

"Look, Clinton's gonna win. US President order has to follow Star Trek Captain order: white guy, white guy, black guy, woman, Scott Bakula."

"Moms get super human strength when put in life or death situations. Last night I uncorked a bottle of wine with my teeth during a tantrum..."

"Windows 8 is like my ex... Looks good, is nice for touch and play, but terrible for the real work."

"What came first, the Chicken or the Egg? That depends on which one you had for starters"

"What do you call a nosy pepper? Jalapeno business!"

"Women love to cook Because they get to continuously change something until it's exactly what they want"