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Joke of the Day

"Women love to cook Because they get to continuously change something until it's exactly what they want"

"The funny thing about strippers and fires... The people that are going to show up are the other most experienced people on a pole."

"My facebook homepage has become a sea of 'who the fuck is that?'"

"Another reason I find children so menacing are their tiny little teeth."

"Is your refrigerator running? Better go catch it!"

"I bought my friend an elephant for their room. They said ""thanks!"" I said ""don't mention it."""

"How do you get a jewish girls number? Roll up her sleeve."

"My Aunt Used to Drink 13's It's the Polish version of the seven & seven. Source: my dad... Not sure if he made it up or what but made me laugh."

"I'm writing a book about a child who suffers from SIDS But considering turning it into a short story"

"What's worse than a cardboard box? Paper tits"