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Joke of the Day

"HR said it's not necessary but I like my sickness to be taken seriously by having my mom send in an email validating my degree of sickness"

"Why is the letter ""B"" so cold? Because its between AC..."

"Why do androids go to Africa to party? Because Botswana have fun."

"What's the difference between a Taliban outpost and a Pakistani elementary school? I don't know, I only fly the drone"

"What do you call two homeless men hitting each other with cardboard? Pillow fight"

"Girl you like is taken on Valentines Day? Just because there's a goalkeeper... It doesn't mean you can't score."

"most vending-machine shaking incidents are elaborate coverups by people who don't want to be seen hugging the machine and saying i love you"

"I never get invited to search parties."

"Netflix documentaries convinced me I should be vegan. So I did what any American would do. I bought some bacon and canceled Netflix."

"Stop making fun of fat people with lisps!!! ...they're probably thick and tired of it."