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Joke of the Day

"Look, Clinton's gonna win. US President order has to follow Star Trek Captain order: white guy, white guy, black guy, woman, Scott Bakula."

"From my 11 year old cousin: What do you get if you cross a pond with snowshoes? Wet."

"A blonde and a burnette are on opposite sides of a river... The burnette yells to the blonde ""how do I get to the other side?"" The blonde yells back ""you are on the other side!"""

"My penis was in the Guinness book of world records... Then the librarian told me to take it out."

"What did Buddha say to the Pizza guy? ""Make me one with everything."""

"The baby spit up on my Xbox so I had to get rid of it... I'm gonna miss that baby..."

"How many pretty girls are there at a monastery? Nun."

"Americans won't get this Free healthcare"

"Why did the run-on sentence take a pregnancy test? Because its period came too late."

"Two antennas met on a roof and got married. The ceremony was okay, but the reception was great."