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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a blind german? A not-see"

"I woke up hungover but couldn't make myself throw up. So I guess I have a lotta shit to deal with today."

"What do you call a cow with only two legs? Lean Beef!"

"Most guys walk up and stick it in... I stick it in then walk up..."

"People are getting way too eager for holidays there's 365 days till Christmas and people already have decorations up!"

"I just took a huge shit. I don't know who it belongs to, but I took it."

"If I could really LMAO, I could get into these jeans my mom has saved for me since high school."

"I only make mistakes when I'm around people who are observant."

"Me: Damn dog is under the covers again! Wife: No she's not. She's next to the bed. Me: Oh. Wife: ... Me: Might be time to shave your legs."

"Happy Passive Aggressive day! Don't worry, I didn't want you to get me anything anyway. No, it's fine. Don't worry about it."