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Joke of the Day

"Happy Passive Aggressive day! Don't worry, I didn't want you to get me anything anyway. No, it's fine. Don't worry about it."

"Synchronized diving would be far more interesting without the pool."

"On the topic of NSFW woman jokes... ""Want to go get some Pizza and Fuck?"" ""No!"" ""Oh you don't like pizza?"""

"My cat deleted my final thesis. Don't believe me? Cats can handle mice."

"Who you must not greet on a plane? HI Jack!"

"What did they call the sad little fish poop with no father? A bass turd."

"Did you hear about the two ducks who got in a fight? Fowl play was suspected."

"""why do women always take sooo long to put their makeup on?"" because makeup is war paint for Being In Public, clearly"

"Playing hard to get works with some men but apparently cops call it ""resisting arrest."""

"Have you guys seen the new Ray Rice's jersey It's a wife beater"