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Joke of the Day

"How are you going to celebrate 9-11? I go to the tallest tower in my city. Call up a pizza place and order two large planes."

"trump: u gave hillary 3 scoops of ice cream & i only got 2 icecream guy: u ate the first scoop already trump: ive never eaten ice cream ever"

"Why don't lobsters share? They're shellfish."

"Comic Sans walks into a bar. The bartender says, ""we don't serve your type here."""

"What do you get if you combine a sheep and a kangaroo? A woolly jumper."

"Stop screaming! I thought you'd appreciate having someone to pass you a towel when you got out of the shower"

"How is a vagina like a cigarette? The closer you get to the butt the stronger the taste."

"Good news for insomniacs! Only one more sleep until Christmas!"

"The best part about a vacation to England is that my wife won't need to adjust her driving."

"Figured this is an appropriate time to tell this. What is an Undertaker's favorite element? Barium."