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Joke of the Day
"Fire destroys bloodmobile; blood bank trying to B positive about it"
Next Joke
"There was a water fight at our local park today... ...and I won!!! Nobody is a match for me and my kettle!"
"I'll straight up dive off a cutting board and cut shit on a diving board I don't give a shit anymore."
"[serial killers talking] Anyway I stood there for like 10 minutes, but she never wiped the steam off the bathroom mirror so I just left"
"My mind is exceptionally quiet.... I'm suspicious that I'm up to something i dont want myself to know about."
"A magic genie granted a man one wish. ""I wish I had a dick that touched the floor"" the man said. The genie then snapped his fingers and *poof* The man's legs disappeared."
"That will be $6.34, and would you like to donate a dollar to the children's hospital or do you prefer being judged by a Taco Bell employee?"
"What do snowmen call their offspring? Chill-dren."
"HR: Do you know why we called you in here today? Me: I'm not taking off my Batman suit, sir."
"honey the ppl of atlantis lost an entire city & thats like 2000x bigger than a baby so idk if all this yellin is necessary"