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Joke of the Day

"That will be $6.34, and would you like to donate a dollar to the children's hospital or do you prefer being judged by a Taco Bell employee?"

"""Mickey Mouse, it says you want to divorce Minnie because she was... extremely silly?"" ""No, I said she was fucking Goofy."""

"It's so cold outside, I actually saw a gangster pull his pants up."

"What's the difference between sandpaper and a baby? The sandpaper doesn't scream when I rub it's face on wood."

"I wear glasses during math, Because it improves division."

"If I hear another conversation about that stupid dress... I'm going to beat them until they're white and gold."

"[job interview] ""What's your biggest weakness?"" ""My honesty"" ""I don't think-"" ""I broke into ur house and made love to ur cat last night"""

"What did the horse say to the group of kids. Haaaaay you guuuysss Hahahah hope youvliked it worked pretty darn hard.comon up woth thisnfunny joke, cya hahahahha lol"

"RIP evaporated water.... ...You will be mist"

"I was bored with my life, and wanted to change something. I changed my mind."