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Joke of the Day

"How many libertarians? How many libertarians does it take to screw in a light-bulb? None. The market will take care of it."

"This morning I had a swollen testicle. ""I'd have simply preferred toast,"" I told my wife."

"I finally got some me time away from the kids. Two whole hours. It would've been longer but my legs went numb crouching behind the dryer."

"Deshsawn, Jamal, Tyrone, Darryl, and Darnell all went to see a movie... The 3 of them had fun."

"Why does little sally have a limp? SHE WENT TO JARED!"

"The coolest thing about being a dog must be the ability to use your own ass for a pillow."

"I put the SEXY in Dyslexic. Deal with ti"

"Who came up with hugs? The very first hug must have been really creepy. ""What are you doing? Why are you holding me?"" ""Just trust me."""

"I jumped on the wrong subway this morning and ended up in the outskirts of Narnia. Just fought off a horde of crack fauns."

"As a white, male acoustic-guitar owner, it appears I'm legally obligated to post a video of myself playing on YouTube."