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Joke of the Day

"I know what I am going to name my first yacht Z. I can't wait to be a dad"

"Whats green and smells like bacon? Kermit's dick."

"I often say...... I often say to myself. ""I cant believe that cloning machine worked"""

"My dishwasher died the other day.... Does anyone have an extra wife i can borrow/have?"

"I came up with a shoe company that specializes in selling oversize shoes Which is no small feat"

"Scientist: our large brains are what allows us to survive so successfully 10,000 Year Old Tree: k"

"The dyslexic devil worshipper sold his soul to Santa."

"The awesome moment when you're telling a lie and your best friend notices and joins you"

"Which pirate makes the best food? Captain Cook."

"Hi folks, this is your captain speaking. How crazy is it that we're about to FLY. I still can't get over it. Wow. How does that even work."