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Joke of the Day

"So in between the 4 seconds that I missed your call and managed to call ya back, you've fallen off the face of the earth??"

"Girls only date me to further their careers... Damn archeologists and paleontologists!"

"My teacher told me I should stop being consecutively late to school... I guess she can't handle people who are Re-tardy."

"I don't think Flounder I caught today was very happy with me. He was looking at me kinda sideways."

"What's the hardest thing about a burning orphanage? My dick."

"What do peasants do in their spare time? They serf"

"What's a questionable hole blocker? A butt plug (but why? you ask)"

"what is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? snowballs..."

"I want to pass away peacefully, in my sleep, like my Grandpa did. Not screaming in a car crash like the passengers in his car."

"She was only an undertaker's daughter ... ... but she knew how to handle a stiff"