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Joke of the Day

"Girls only date me to further their careers... Damn archeologists and paleontologists!"

"I hate being used as a thesaurus. A mate just asked another term for ""monkey dung"" and I went apeshit."

"What did Cinderella say when her photos did not show up? Someday my prints will come."

"She asked me for a dollar... But I only had three quarters of it."

"Where do senior citizens often go to the restroom? Depends."

"Nutella. A delicious mix of nuts and umbrellas."

"You hear of the movie about a girl's struggle during her time of the month? It won the award for the best period drama"

"Have you heard about those new corduroy pillows? They are making headlines!"

"My Girlfriend told me to give her 10 inches and make it hurt... So I fucked her twice and punched her in the mouth!"

"Modern technology has never matched the simplicity and grace of the traditional pen. In fact, you could say that there is still no e-quill."