153295

Joke of the Day

"I made a new joke. I made a new word. Plagiarism."

"What did the pirate say with a steering wheel down his pants? ""YARRR, IT'S DRIVIN' ME NUTS!!!"""

"A werewolf is chasing you and you are going to die but he's wearing TOMS and you can't stop laughing."

"So me and my demons are gonna have a few bloody mary's and see where the day takes us. Would you and your demons like to tag along?"

"Q: What did one mountain say to the other mountain after an earthquake? A: It's not my fault."

"People ask me ""Why are you single? You're attractive, intelligent, and have an amazing personality"". My response: ""I'm overqualified""."

"Bernie Sanders won another state last night! The State of Denial"

"A grasshopper hops into a bar... The bartender sees him and says ""Hey, we have a drink named after you."" The grasshopper looks up and says, ""You have a drink named Murray?"""

"Stop letting your dogs piss on fire hydrants. Some of us use those for parkour."

"Help I lost my coat! I hope someone didn't jacket!"