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Joke of the Day

"A robot walks into a bar; says he needs to loosen up. So the bartender serves him a screwdriver."

"What did Justin Verlander finish on Friday? Kate's back."

"I have a joke about unemployed people But it won't work."

"What do you call friendship between punctuation? Commaraderie"

"I've never panned for gold... But I have put bacon bits in my salad."

"What's the difference between my basement and a Ferrari? One is filled with hookers, and the other is my basement!"

"What was the last thing that Columbus said to his sailors before getting on the ship? ""Okay men, get on the ship."""

"..so in a technical sense, they're only relatively bad. My jokes are so bad, they sometimes appear to violate causality.."

"Dear Father Christmas could you please send me some Crocodile shoes!. Father Christmas: Can't do that one. He hasn't said what size his crocodile takes!"

"Why did all the sea monsters refer to the kraken as a whore when he died? Because he died choking on a bunch of seamen."