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Joke of the Day

"There's a lot of Arab new mothers lately This must be the new baby boom!"

"Adult me is pretty pissed that you can't learn to dance perfectly in the span of an 80's montage."

"Just got back from my secret society meeting. I'm really pleased with next year's Golden Globe winners."

"My friend said to me 'The Tory party is just cuts after cuts after cuts!'... ... I told him 'You're one letter off.'"

"I just answered two Jeopardy questions in a row. This must be what Einstein must have felt like."

"I think it's kinda gross to have sex in bed After all it's where I eat"

"When you're as good at levitation as I am... It's hard to keep your feet on the ground."

"I searched in Google ""How do I know if my wife is a witch"". You could've just asked me! - she yelled from the kitchen."

"Speed-dating, but it's just me going from table to table stealing fries from unsuspecting couples gazing longingly into each other's eyes"

"Romeo and Juliet is Not a Love Story... It's a 3-Day relationship between a 13 year-old and a 17 year-old that caused 6 Deaths. Sincerely, everyone who actually Read it."