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Joke of the Day

"Speed-dating, but it's just me going from table to table stealing fries from unsuspecting couples gazing longingly into each other's eyes"

"Chuck Norris don't open no can of whoopass. He makes his own."

"I lost two things today. My virginity... ...and my job at the morgue."

"I don't make spelling and grammatical errors I invent new languages. You ignorant Count."

"If you think I'm flirting with you, I'm just being friendly. If you think I'm weird and I make you uncomfortable, I'm flirting with you."

"What did Jeffrey Dahmer sing as he went to the refrigerator? My Bologna had a first name."

"What do you call it when a lizard has problems in the bedroom? A reptile dysfunction"

"Being a man of many flavors. I survived mustard gas and pepper spray, yesterday I was honored a seasoned veteran."

"A new study found that 12 percent of married adults met their spouses online.The other 88 percent met somebody else's spouse online"

"A Chess Shop A man walks into a chess shop, and going over to the small asian manager, he asks if he can purchase a piece. The manager says, ""Oh sure. Take a rook."""