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Joke of the Day

"Tell me your best one-liner. I'll start. Scientists have discovered that diarrhea runs in the genes."

"5: Mommy said I'm a big boy and can't sleep in her bed anymore Me [sleeping on couch] she's right son"

"I asked for her number she said sex sex sex I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight! I said, Wow! Then her friend said, She means 666-3629."

"Wife: OMG the baby just swallowed some Scrabble tiles! Me: Which ones? Wife: BLTOUR & E Me: Well, that could spell trouble"

"Stop with the phone sex You might get hearing aids"

"Q: How do you protect a valuable instrument? A: Hide it in an accordion case."

"I went to the zoo today and all they had was a dog... It was a Shih Tzu."

"The Teen Choice Awards air tonight if you want to see a great reminder of why kids aren't allowed to vote."

"Q: Why do elephants have big flat feet? A: To stamp out flaming ducks."

"Why can't women drive? Because there is no road between the kitchen and the bedroom."