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Joke of the Day

"date: why are u talking to me like i'm a news anchor me: sorry i do it when i'm nervous. back to you, karen."

"George washington said ""We would have a black president when pigs fly!"" ... well, swine flu."

"What's the difference between a joke and a pussy There's a chance you might actually get a joke."

"A woman walks into a bar. What makes you think she can drive any better?"

"If Iron Man and Silver Surfer teamed up They would be alloys"

"Once you commit to the idea of a closed casket funeral it really takes a lot of pressure off how you live your life."

"If ""Bieber fever"" is when a Bieber song comes on the radio & you start throwing up & stabbing yourself, then yes I had Bieber fever once."

"What is a baseball dog? One that chases fowls."

"What has eight arms and tells the time? A clocktopus Shoutout to the popper from my Xmas dinner"

"You know why it is that when a flock of birds fly in a 'V' formation one side is always longer the other? There's more birds on that side."