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Joke of the Day

"A woman walks into a bar. What makes you think she can drive any better?"

"Not much of a ""First Aid"" kit if it doesn't have peanut butter in it."

"An officer pulled me over for driving erratically, but it was because some bees had gotten into my car. He must have thought I was buzzed."

"What do you call a drummer who has lost one of his drumsticks? A conductor."

"Yo mama is so fat...that when she wore a blue and green sweatereveryone thought she was Planet Earth"

"I had sex with a can of Coke. The doctor told me that I had contracted... ...Genital Burpies."

"Why was Disney's massage parlor so successful? Everybody gets a happy ending."

"Went to the doctors yesterday, suffering from premature ejaculation... ... doctor said, ""This must be very stressful for your wife"". I replied, ""To be honest, it's getting on her tits""."

"My kids are starting to ask questions that I don't know the answers to so I'm going to have to trade them in for dumber models."

"Dear People of The World, I don't mean to sound slutty but use me whenever you want. Sincerely, Proper Grammar."