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Joke of the Day

"Why do ghosts get invited to parties? Because they always bring boos."

"Him: I wonder if this dealership is open. Me: Are you stupid? The parking lot is full."

"Why are electric trains like a mother's breasts? They were both designed for the kids but it's the fathers who are always playing with them."

"Darling, what are you thinking about right now? If I would want you to know, I would say it not think about it."

"Don't make jokes about 9/11... they're just plane wrong."

"What is the linguistic description of sentences like 'ho ho ho' and 'merry Christmas'? They are both santa clauses."

"An undertaker says to a bereaved husband When did you realise your wife was dead?' Well,' he replies, the sex was the same but the dishes just kept piling up...' from Internet."

"How did the Edward Impersonator annoy /r/jokes? He feigned ted."

"Heisenberg got pulled over by the cops for speeding Winding down his window, he was greeted by a shout of ""Do you know how fast you were going?!"" ""Not a clue, but I know *exactly* where I was."""

"I don't know why smokey the bear carries a shovel, but it scares the shit out of me."