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Joke of the Day
"I think I owe my vibrator a Valentines Day card."
Next Joke
"I just realized why my dogs are afraid of thunder. They don't have any balls."
"I had a mate who was suicidal. He was really depressed, so I pushed him in front of a steam train. Then he was chuffed to bits."
"Snatch, twat, fanny, cunt, pussy, box, split-arse, and of course vagina. Just a few of the names I have given to my cats."
"hey ther delilah wats it like in gotham city is the joker stil in jail-- sory-- i mean-- u look so prety yes u do batman is not as cool as u"
"For a period, Houdini used a trap door in every single show he did... I guess you could say it was a stage he was going through."
"Cows... What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef... What do you call a cow with one leg? Lean beef... What do you call a cow with two legs? A Texan..."
"Date: Cat-callers disgust me. Me: [hastily returning phone to pocket] Oh haha yeah me too. My cat: *at home by the phone worried sick*"
"My phone battery dies faster than a black guy in a horror movie."
"What do you call a disabled nun? Virgin mobile"