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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a camera that shoots out true facts about an ancient Phoenician city? A Canon, Canaan-canon cannon... (I'm not sorry...)"

"an elevator what can a elevator do but a mexican family cant. raise a child PLS IM NOT RACIST DONT HATE"

"We've replaced the names of the foreign countries & leaders in Trump's speech with the names of IKEA furniture. Let's see if he notices"

"if it smells like bullshit & looks like bullshit, it probably is bullshit. Putting sugar on it doesn't make it a brownie."

"So John Travolta's career has been dwindling recently... I guess you could say he fell from Grease."

"Why does the coffee taste like shit? Because it was ground this morning."

"ladies, call me a badly designed excel spreadsheet because my D column is unnecessarily large"

"Whats hard, black, and keeps me up all night? My Roku."

"Who ate those tomatoes? Tom ate those."

"When I die, just throw the laundry in my grave with me. I want to die exactly as I lived."