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Joke of the Day

"What do you call it when you fuck a teenager with a bottle of hot sauce? Srirachatory rape."

"I had a friend from North Korea. When I asked him how the country was, he said, ""I can't complain..."""

"IRISH EATS ITALIAN Q: What does an Irishman get after eating Italian food? A: Gaelic breath."

"I remember a time when I didn't get nostalgic after a few drinks .. I miss those days."

"Hair is like fitness... If you don't condition, it'll suck (I'm sorry for nothing)"

"This weather girl is giving the weather report and her titties are blocking the state of Texas. #LoneStartitties"

"Quick! How many chameleons are in the room with you right now? You can never answer this question with 100% certainty."

"Kanye West is now on Twitter. Since he doesn't follow anyone, not only will he not let you finish, he's not gonna let you start, either."

"What did the hipster stoner call his marijuana pipe? Ira Glass"

"If my kid turns out to be a criminal, I am totally blaming Grand Theft Auto and not my shitty parenting."