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Joke of the Day

"HIM: [awkwardly] wanna go see a movie? HER: sure, sounds great. [next day] HIM: could i maybe come with you next time?"

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"What do you call the state of having confidence? I'm sorry, it's confidential."
"What's the difference between a rooster and your mom? A rooster says, ""cockadoodledoo"". Your mom says, ""anycockwilldoo""."
"Why did God have no sense of humor when putting the planets in order? because he didn't want to put Uranus at the end of the solar system"
"How many stuttering Mexicans does it take to crash a server? D--Dos"
"A roman centurion walks into a bar... He holds up two fingers and says: ""Five beers, please."""
"What is a ghost pirate's favourite letter? Boo! T"
"To any redditors who abuse, or have abused drugs... violence is not the answer."
"I said to the gym instructor: ""Can you teach me to do the splits?"" He said: ""How flexible are you?"" I said: ""I can't make Tuesdays."""
"What kind of bees give milk? boobies"
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