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Joke of the Day

"Whats the hardest part about being a pedophile you ask? Trying to fit in."

"I've deleted enough tweets to know that I should never get a tattoo."

"I've been married to my wife for 27 years but it feels like 27 minutes. ...under water"

"I'm against picketing.... But I don't know how to show it. - Mitch Hedberg"

"What do you call a Redneck Baker? Inbread"

"Why is Santa always so jolly? He knows where all the naughty girls live."

"My nickname is Spaghetti Because I'm 20 inches and hot water makes me floppy."

"My girlfriend's dad accused me of being a pedophile just because she's 18 and I'm 32. It really ruined our 10th anniversary."

"I'm just a naked guy in an elm tree noticing the creepy way you stare at me through your bathroom window."

"Dude on Amtrak I sized up as being a lawyer just used ""litigation"" during a phone call. Feeling powerful right now."