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Joke of the Day

"This cracked me up at work tonight! Did you hear about the famous actress that slit her throat tonight? What's her name? Reese... Reese Witherspoon? No with a knife"

"A guy at the DIY store asked if I wanted decking... ...fortunately I managed to get the first punch in."

"Why can black people jump so high Because their knee grows."

"College is the opposite of kidnapping. They demand $100,000 from you or they'll send your kid back."

"A Florida boy was born with no eyelids... The doctors decided to make him some eyelids using his foreskin. He's a little cock-eyed now, but he'll be fine."

"I'm so bad at making decisions that whenever I hit a yellow light I scream, open my car door and throw myself out"

"What sound does a shotgun make? Cobain Cobain"

"Why should aimless Christian musicians become sailors? Because if they've found Jesus, the only way they'll find resolution is at C."

"Where do you find a one legged cow? Where ever you left it."

"Took me forever to find this chronology book. It's about time."