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Joke of the Day

"A Florida boy was born with no eyelids... The doctors decided to make him some eyelids using his foreskin. He's a little cock-eyed now, but he'll be fine."

"You know what else is pointless? Circles."

"I bet in hell you have to sleep in a hot bedroom with a pillow that never has a cool side."

"Not only was my brother not mad when I backed into his Porsche, he even invited me camping and said to bring a shovel. Whew!"

"What do you call a caveman who likes to walk slowly all the time. A Meanderthal"

"What did the Nazi say to the clock that went tick-tick-tick? Ve have vays of making you tock..."

"It's pretty neat how owning a pool gives me an excuse to own every chemical needed to make a body completely disappear."

"16 sodium atoms walk into a bar... Followed by Batman."

"There's no ""I"" in team but there is one in shut your stupid mouth."

"My favourite Halloween joke: ""I was going to dress up as Jian Gomeshi but I figured that would be too creepy."""