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Joke of the Day

"Why should aimless Christian musicians become sailors? Because if they've found Jesus, the only way they'll find resolution is at C."

"It's like the TSA doesn't even care relationships end cause we can't run through the airport and stop someone from getting on a plane."

"I can just about tolerate pens... ...but I have to say I draw a line with pencils."

"How many Hipsters does it take to change a light bulb? ...it's this really obscure number. You've probably never even heard of it. No big deal."

"Bumped into my Ex again. I should really move her to a different part of the freezer."

"saw your mum at the supermarket buying vaseline & cucumbers & nothing else, no wonder your dad died if that what she puts in sandwiches"

"So I asked my grandma I asked my grandma if she had ever tried 69. She said, ""No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night."""

"they once said an apple a day keeps the doctors away... But todays world all doctors are muslim, so i find bacon works better!"

"How do fireflies start a race ? Ready steady glow !"

"If you don't hate yourself by the time you log off, you're not using the internet correctly."