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Joke of the Day

"I'm so bad at making decisions that whenever I hit a yellow light I scream, open my car door and throw myself out"

"That new movie called Erectile dysfunction What a flop."

"Why did the chicken cross the road?"

"My neighbour told me I'd left my lights on. I told her she'd left her big nose on."

"Why did the leper fail his driving test? He left his foot on the clutch."

"What is Mister Miyagi's favorite drink? Jack Daniels-san"

"""911, what is your emergency?"" Yes I can't hear my television ""Sir, this is not an emer-"" Someone keeps screaming ""HELP ME!!"" next door"

"""It's the holidays"" *eats a pizza* ""It's the holidays"" *eats 3 cheeseburgers* ""It's the holidays"" *eats my food, your food & a small baby*"

"I'm beginning to think some of you are not your Avi's, which makes me sad. I thought I had a unicorn and dinosaur friend."

"I'm fresh out of hopes and dreams. Can I interest you in despair and disappointments?"