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Joke of the Day

"Johnny was racing around the garden on his new bicycle and called out to his mother to watch his tricks. 'Look Mum! No hands! Look Mum! No feet! Waaah! Look Mum! No teeth!'"

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"What replaces Steam, the gaming platform, in China? Pollution."
"What does a bully say to someone with severe depression? Stop hating yourself, stop hating yourself!"
"If 'real life' was really that great, Twitter wouldn't be so fucking addictive."
"Born to be mild."
"Vegetarians eat vegetables... What do veterinarians eat? (you thought I was gonna ask about humanitarians, didn't you?)"
"What did arnold schwarzenegger say to the chemist Get to the COPPER!!!!!"
"Good friends are hard to find. Especially if they stabbed me in the back. In fact you won't find them officer. Stop looking"
"What do you call unpredictable nudity? Erratica."
"Guy in the dressing room next to mine: ""I don't want to get blood on these pants."" I want to reply, ""Then stay out of my way on the catwalk"""