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Joke of the Day

"Johnny was racing around the garden on his new bicycle and called out to his mother to watch his tricks. 'Look Mum! No hands! Look Mum! No feet! Waaah! Look Mum! No teeth!'"

"I finally figured out what I wanna be when I get older...........................Younger!"

"Did you here about the girl who got electrocuted by her vibrator at a sleep over? It was such a buzz kill"

"Why don't women propose to men? Because the guy'd always be disappointed when she took out a ring."

"While shopping, look for this marker on where the gluten free aisle is at. You'll see a man with a gun to his mouth. Because, you know, bullets are gluten free."

"I own a gun so if a robber breaks into my home and steals my stuff I can shoot all my stuff and break it so the robber can't enjoy any of it"

"Psychiatrist to Internal Revenue agent on couch: ""Nonsense! No way does everyone in the world hate you -- everyone in the US perhaps but certainly not everyone in the world."""

"What do you call a recently created sub-atomic particle? New-tron."

"If they release three more sequels of 'Fast and Furious' series... They should name the last one - ""Fast10 - Your Seatbelt"" in memory of Paul Walker."

"My doctor said I am self destructive That explains why I voted for Hillary Clinton"