207672

Joke of the Day

"While shopping, look for this marker on where the gluten free aisle is at. You'll see a man with a gun to his mouth. Because, you know, bullets are gluten free."

"Can't believe my dog just ran into Petco and left me in the car with the windows rolled up"

"What did the egg say to the boiling water? It's gonna take me a little while to get hard, I just got laid by this chick."

"""I ran a half marathon"" sounds so much better than ""I quit halfway through a marathon""."

"A red boat and a blue boat crash into each other in the ocean... All the passengers were marooned."

"I used to be an expert on the DunningKruger effect... ...but then I began to learn more about it."

"what's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea? I've never had a garbanzo bean on my face."

"You're a dog person? *Throws a stick* Well? Aren't you going to run after it or are you cool with being a normal human that's also a liar?"

"How do we know that Batman is black? He can't go anywhere without Robin'"

"So, it's now officially a week after the Super Bowl, can we please stop with the Super Bowl jokes? They're going right over my head."