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Joke of the Day

"Psychiatrist to Internal Revenue agent on couch: ""Nonsense! No way does everyone in the world hate you -- everyone in the US perhaps but certainly not everyone in the world."""

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"What do a three paragraph term paper and a 5'2"" Mexican have in common? They're both short essays."
"Waddya get if you mix Canadian Club and Southern Comfort? What you most assuredly deserve"
"*wears one gryffindor and one slytherin sock to work to represent the internal human struggle between good and evil*"
"How many points do you get if you hit a golfer? Fore."
"When you sit next to a talker at the movies you're allowed to hit them in the face and move seats. It's in the ticket fine print."
"What did the mermaid wear for good luck on her math test? Her *algaebra*."
"Italian names sound delicious. Even Mussolini, sounds like a fried cheese that ends up oppressing your digestive process. #Italians"
"What kind of exercises do lazy people do? Diddly-squats"
"My friend went to a party as the Spanish Inquisition... Nobody expected him"
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