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Joke of the Day

"If they release three more sequels of 'Fast and Furious' series... They should name the last one - ""Fast10 - Your Seatbelt"" in memory of Paul Walker."

"What did the stoner say to his girlfriend? We'd be good together."

"How did the bad Canadian fisherman describe his only catch of the day? ""Aboot this big"""

"I took my dictionary to a bar. I just wanted to get the word out."

"What do you call it when an employee poops in the food at a Chinese restaurant? Shitty wok"

"Duct tape is like the Force... ...there's a light side and a dark side, and it keeps the Universe together."

"If the opposite of ""pro"" is ""con""...... Then the opposite of ""progress"" would be ""congress"" I^will^see^myself^out"

"The lottery gives you about a 1 in 200 million chance you won't be going to work tomorrow. Alcohol will give you a 1 in 5. #PowerballFever"

"New York City is the only place where sound travels faster than light. I always hear the horn before the light turns green."

"If you play connect-the-dots with the stains on my shirt, it reveals a picture of a grown man who needs to use a bib."