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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend has trouble with flying me too, that's why I use a plane."

"I went to the zoo the other day, there was a dog there. It was a shitzu"

"Next time a skinny bitch calls herself fat... I'm gonna agree with her."

"I saw a snail driving in a car with a big s on it. It was amazing to see that escargot"

"I couldn't find my credit card this morning. Someone must have swiped it. I'm sorry."

"Nothing enrages me more than a pop-up ad that MOVES SO YOU CAN'T CLICK THE X."

"What is a bear's favourite drink ? Koka-Koala !"

"Why were Indians the first people in America? Because they had reservations."

"As a Florida resident... at least I'll have medical marijuana to treat the fucking cancer this election has given me. I won't even need a lighter, seeing as the country is already on fire."

"Nothing makes a friendship more awkward than saying ""Cute doggie"" and realizing it's their kid"