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Joke of the Day

"I started chewing nicotine gum the other day. I don't smoke, but I gradually want to start. =)"

"People who write clickbait headlines for a living: Fuck you."

"It was a pain to clean up after carrying out my fetish for the first time. But its definitely a load off my chest."

"In space, no one can hear your spouse chew."

"BAE: come over BATMAN: i'm fighting crime BAE: my parents aren't home BATMAN: *tears up* same"

"Be careful when you follow the Masses. Sometimes the M' is silent."

"What is the difference between a feminist and a hockey player? A hockey player showers after 3 periods."

"I watched Se7en for the first time today, I was completely blind going in.. What's in the box!?!?!"

"The rabbi really messed up that circumcision... It was a total rip-off."

"UPDATE: They just released the time when Cecil the lion was shot. Tooth hurty"