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Joke of the Day

"I started chewing nicotine gum the other day. I don't smoke, but I gradually want to start. =)"

"[typing] Me: Is it DISCREET or DISCRETE? Wife: 2nd. Me: Is ""polyamorous"" hyphenated? Wife: No. Why? Me: It's for work. When's your flight?"

"Perfect Joke: Two peanuts were walking down the street... ...one was assaulted."

"Why did Jon Snow go to the Apple Store? For the Watch."

"cnt wait to dress up as a windmill for halloween its never a bad time to teach ppl about renewable energy sources lmao"

"""You're under arrest for trespassing."" ""On what grounds?"" -FromJokester4Android"

"Yesterday I burnt my food so black... ... it stole my bike."

"Q( - _-)________o__Q(-_ - ) Asian Ping Pong Match"

"My Muslim friend. I have a friend who used to be a Muslim, now he's an atheist, I guess he was done with that Shiite."

"What do ""Damn Daniel"" and pedophiles have in common? They both have white vans"