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Joke of the Day

"Two muffins in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, ""Is it hot in here or is it just me?"" The other one looks at him and replies, ""HOLY SHIT, A TAKING MUFFIN!!"""

"Saw two construction workers laughing today... I know what they were really building, friendship"

"A man walks into a restaurant..."

"A fat man complained to a doctor that obesity runs in the family The doctor replied: It's not obesity that runs in the family, it's that no one runs in your family."

"Why does Bill Clinton wear underwear? To keep his ankles warm."

"When you think your life couldn't be any more pathetic, remember some people have more than 1 Facebook account."

"At the club, a 6'1"" girl was crying in my lap. I just kept petting her hair, pretending she was a sad giraffe. Win-win."

"In Hell, someone is constantly vacuuming while you're trying to explain directions to an old man."

"Do you know what a Canadian's favourite gun is? Eh-K-47"

"Did you hear about Pala Deans new restaurant? They only serve crackers!"