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Joke of the Day

"Well, I don't know how my tattoo is gonna look when I'm 60, Carol, but I know you'll be dead by then so"

"If there are two things Trump voters hate... The first is being called, ""racist."" And the second is black people."

"Met a contortionist, said, ""When you wanna get sexual?"" She said, ""However I fit in your schedule. I'm flexible."""

"How can you tell if a shark has dandruff? He left his head and shoulders on the beach."

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Circus Clown Barbie ...complete with scary face paint and scary wig"

"What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? Slow down and use a lubricant."

"Why do elephants have four feet? Because six inches would never satisfy a female elephant."

"How does a Jew make his tea? Hebrews it!"

"My friend is so easy to manipulate... I once convinced him to go to the hospital by putting a piece of glass in his neck. ^Apologies ^to ^American ^Dad!"

"It would have been more realistic if that Michael Jackson hologram last night touched a few little little boys in the front row."